Yee HAW! Gonna Meet the Pioneer Woman Tonight!!!

****SECOND UPDATE****

Pioneer Woman won't be speakin' tonight. Only signin'.

****UPDATE**** 2:30 p.m.

Just called Borders. Pioneer Woman has moved signing up to 6:00 p.m. Boarders started handin' out colored wristbands at 9 this mornin' to guarantee your spot in line. YOU MUST HAVE A WRISTBAND!!! They're now on they're THIRD color of wristbands, and have never used more than one color at any other book signing! I had planned on gettin' there around 4ish so I could have a decent spot in line, but after this whole wristband thing, I ain't goin'.....sad face..... Ain't no way in hell I can sit in line until what is at this point gonna be 1 or 2 a.m with a whole bunch of mom bloggers all talkin' about baby snot and shit.....dammit....lame. I was SOOOOO excited!!!

Dear Ree,

I love your blog, like a whole lot. I love your kids faces and Marlboro Man's too. I love your funny way of writin', all your pretty photos and especially the recipes, because well....I love food. I will get your cookbook. I really, really wanted to meet you and have our picture taken together....we both have red hair (you did at least up until recently!) and we could totally make hair babies......but I just gotta get home at a decent time. I work and if I don't get enough sleep, I am one crabby, bitchy broad and my boss don't like that. Also there is this issue I have with bein' around a bunch of gloatin' mom bloggers....they make me wanna poke my eyeballs out. I just can't do it.

Go eat at the Varsity.......get a chili slaw dog and a pc. Good shit I tell ya, good shit.

I'm so sad.

Love,

Jessica

A year or so ago a Brandy over at Not So Average Mama told me about this blog called The Pioneer Woman. She said it was all about this lady who lives on a ranch somewhere and does ranch type stuff....it was really interesting, and I really needed to check it out.

Lame. That's what I thought, but what Brandy says to do, I pretty much do.

She was right. Once I started readin', I couldn't stop.

There were some of the most beautiful photos I'd ever seen and an entire section with photo tips....which I totally haven't tried, because just readin' them alone makes my brain go all fuzzy....that and I don't have the photo editing program she has.

I was immediately hooked on her Black Heels to Tractor Wheel series, which tells the story of her (who at the time, was a chick who was raised in a golf course community and was probably a total spoiled brat) and her rancher husband meetin' and fallin' in love. A city girl meets and falls in love with a cowboy. Ugh.....I'm SUCH a sucker for love stories.

So reminded me of my love for Lucchese boots.....and because of her, I have my very own pair and wear them as much as humanly possible.......

I've also cooked several things in her cookin' section. My favorite is the Crash Hot Potatos.....best shit ever.......

Hope she doesn't mind...I totally stole this picture from her site.

Last Christmas, Jeremy and I were using her recipe for beef tenderloin and he suggested we do somethin' a specific way and I can remember sayin', "No! That's not how Pioneer Woman said to do it!" I knew then that I had a problem.

I've actually cooked quite a few of her recipes and now, in addition to her Tasty Kitchen recipe site, she's put out a cookbook.......AND..........she's totally gonna be in Atlanta for a book signin' TONIGHT and I'm totally goin'!

In case you're wonderin', she'll be at Borders on Peachtree Road in Atlanta tonight at 7:30.

Oops! I Did It Again!

I wrecked my car.....again. Just a fender bender this time. I was in that awesome after work bumper to bumper traffic on the highway. I sneezed....and I sneezed again and again and then a snot rocket flew outta my nose. As I go to wipe the hangin' snot outta my nose....BAM. I hit a car. What really sucked was when I hit the car my snot covered hand slid up and smeared on the lense of my glasses. Awesome. Just fuckin' awesome and to top it all off, I got another ticket. I get home and I'm all pissy and shit. Jeremy says "Why you so pissy?" Uh, HELLO? I just wrecked my stupid fuckin' car! He says, "you're not used to that by now?" Admittedly, I've had a few problems with bumpin' into cars and other things here and there, but dang....it ain't like it's ever my fault. Psht. Like this one time, the girl was in the backseat and needed a kleenex. I turned around to gave one to her. I hit a car. It was dead stopped at a red light. ...

In the Car

Everyday this week, I've had to bring the kids to work with me. Since they're completely terrified of me (psht), they've kept their little kid selves in line. On the way to work this morning, the girl taught the boy how to hand crochet. He was pretty hesitant at first, because "boys don't do that kinda crap"....that's until she told him of her grand plan to make 'em and sell 'em to the people I work with. The second money was involved, he was all in. In less than 10 minutes, he was well on his way to making his first hand crocheted scarf. It's amazing what can get accomplished in the hour and a half it takes to get to work. By the time we arrived, the boy had completed his very first scarf. All I can seem to get accomplished is drinking coffee..... Mmmm.....Starbucks. I totally thought I was over it. I was wrong. So, how is the girl's grand plan goin' you might be wondering. Uh yeah.....she's made $32 so far. As for the boy,...

What an Asshole

Awesome. That's what I am. So awesome that I'm featured on Cooking for Asshole's blog and I didn't have to pay him one penny. Not that he's anything special, but at least he recognizes me for all of my awesomeness....even though he totally talks shit about me and says something about me being Japanese just because I couldn't my panties on right one day...psht....what an asshole. Despite the fact that he's an asshole, he writes one of my favorite blogs . He thinks we're all stupid and suck ass at cookin '. He will berate you and belittle you and cook a pork roast at the same time. Be aware though....he cooks a bunch vegetarian hippie shit......claiming his wife's a vegetarian....I think meat just gives him the shits so he doesn't make a lot of it. If you're one of them beer drinkers, this Asshole thinks he's some sorta beer connoisseur (I say he's just a drunk). He drinks all kinds weird shit. I mean really, why not just sit do...

'Cuz I Felt Like It!

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