Time Flies Whether You're Havin' Fun or Not

Remember when you were a kid and it seemed like it took six months just to get from Halloween to Christmas? Now that I'm an adult, it seems like it takes half the time it should to get from one Christmas to the other.

Now, I just wanna get to the weekends. Every Monday it's the same thing....hurry up and get here weekend....and it usually does. Then when Sunday rolls around, I'm wishin' it was still Saturday. Time is escaping me. I'm not sure how I feel about that.

Time's just goin' way to fast. Does that mean I'm on the downhill slide of life?

Now that Halloween's over, Christmas is gonna be here before I can lick the salt off my lips from the pumpkin seeds. For the past several years I just want one more week before Christmas pounces on me. Just one more pay check. There's just never enough time or money. That's the way I see Christmas now. I hate it. When you're a kid, you just see the presents under the tree, the magic of the lights and decorations and Santa.....now I see the money it costs to put those presents under the tree and that's pretty much it.

I'm gonna try not to be that way this year. It's inevitable though. I'm gonna panic. I love Christmas. I LOVE the lights. I love the smells of all the Christmas candles. I love baking all kindsa shit that's just gonna pack on the lbs. I love it all, but still underneath it all, it just comes and goes too quick.

The store's start packin' in the Christmas trees and decorations before Halloween's even gotten here. You hear everyone say, "Can you believe they already have Christmas stuff in stores?" It seems to get here earlier and earlier and earlier. You'd think that would prolong the Christmas season....no, it just prolongs the panic.

I wanna slow down. I wanna have more time. I've heard it's even worse when you get older. Really? How can that possibly be? I swear, Christmas was just here like 6 months ago. It took me 30 years to get to 30 years, but I think it's just gonna take me 15 years to get to 65......life is just too dadgum short.

I need to take a deep breath. I've been livin' in the fast lane for too long and I think it's time to slow down and smell the roses....or whatever the hell else is bloomin' right now.

Oops! I Did It Again!

I wrecked my car.....again. Just a fender bender this time. I was in that awesome after work bumper to bumper traffic on the highway. I sneezed....and I sneezed again and again and then a snot rocket flew outta my nose. As I go to wipe the hangin' snot outta my nose....BAM. I hit a car. What really sucked was when I hit the car my snot covered hand slid up and smeared on the lense of my glasses. Awesome. Just fuckin' awesome and to top it all off, I got another ticket. I get home and I'm all pissy and shit. Jeremy says "Why you so pissy?" Uh, HELLO? I just wrecked my stupid fuckin' car! He says, "you're not used to that by now?" Admittedly, I've had a few problems with bumpin' into cars and other things here and there, but dang....it ain't like it's ever my fault. Psht. Like this one time, the girl was in the backseat and needed a kleenex. I turned around to gave one to her. I hit a car. It was dead stopped at a red light. ...

What an Asshole

Awesome. That's what I am. So awesome that I'm featured on Cooking for Asshole's blog and I didn't have to pay him one penny. Not that he's anything special, but at least he recognizes me for all of my awesomeness....even though he totally talks shit about me and says something about me being Japanese just because I couldn't my panties on right one day...psht....what an asshole. Despite the fact that he's an asshole, he writes one of my favorite blogs . He thinks we're all stupid and suck ass at cookin '. He will berate you and belittle you and cook a pork roast at the same time. Be aware though....he cooks a bunch vegetarian hippie shit......claiming his wife's a vegetarian....I think meat just gives him the shits so he doesn't make a lot of it. If you're one of them beer drinkers, this Asshole thinks he's some sorta beer connoisseur (I say he's just a drunk). He drinks all kinds weird shit. I mean really, why not just sit do...

APB....Little Jimmy is Missing!!!

It's December 1st and Little Jimmy shoulda made his first appearance at the house this morning. Evidently, I hid Little Jimmy so good that last time last year that even I can't find him. This is no bueno. Little Jimmy is an Elf on the Shelf . We read the book, he shows up in a different spot every morning and watches and reports back to Santa every night. Seriously. The boy gets it. He knows. The elf ain't nothin' but a stuffed doll. The girl....she still believes. She was snoopin' around a week or so ago and found the book that Little Jimmy is SUPPOSED to be stuffed in after Christmas and said "Mom! Little Jimmy's not in his book! He's gone back to the North Pole to get all his instructions!" "Dammit. She STILL believes in Little Jimmy", I remember thinkin'. I mean really, you try comin' up with 30 different hidin' spots for a little elf that won't take your kids more than a few minutes to find every mornin...

'Cuz I Felt Like It!

Search This Blog