Where’s the resemblance?

I’m walking through the grocery store before work one morning and this girl working there asks me if she can ask me a question. Because I was in a hurry, I wanted to tell her she just did and keep walking, but didn’t feel like being a total douche bag so I stopped and said “sure”.

The girl puts one hand on her hip and starts shaking her other hand at me, finger all a pointin’ and stuff and says “You’re that girl on that show aren’t you?”

As I know that I am no girl on any show, I just said “Nope. Sorry, I ain’t her”. I knew exactly who she was talking about though, because I’d been asked something similar a handful of times before.

I keep walking through the store getting what I needed, headed to check out and left the store headed for my car. Once I get to my car, I realize my keys are in my purse which is locked in my car! Dammit.

I head back for the store and had to ask the same girl from before if I could use the phone. She obliged and sat there staring at me the entire time. She totally thought I had lied to her earlier and I really was Mary Alice from Ace of Cakes…..you know the show on Food Network about Charm City Cakes?

Fast forward a few years and I’m still getting the same thing.
I was waiting to get in an elevator last week and this guy was all eyeballin’ me weird. Not in the “God, I really wanna touch your hair” way or the “I wish my girlfriend’s boobs were as big as yours” way either. It was totally creepin’ me out. Once on the elevator dude says to me, “you know that show….” I cut him off and say, “No, I’m not her, but I get that a lot". He asks if I’m sure. Why, hell yes I’m sure! Mary Alice and I look NOTHING alike. Especially now that she's cut her hair off and quit coloring it red. Before that though, all we had in common was red hair, we both wear glasses and we’re both a little on the chubby side. Seriously….isn’t that like racist or something to think that all chubby red heads that wear glasses look the same?

So anyhow. Dude goes on to say that he was so excited when he realized that I was getting on the elevator with him. He had just watched the show the night before for the first time in a long time. “Sorry to disappoint you”, I said as I got of at my floor.

Later that day as I was leaving, the elevator stopped and the same dang dude gets on the elevator again saying “it’s you again”! Yes, yes it was ME again…..not MARY ALICE, although he clearly thought that’s who I was. He apologized for if he had offended me earlier. As he says that he’s still eyeballin’ me all weird. Like he’s lookin’ for some mole or something that will catch me in a lie….some clue to the fact that I'm really who he thinks I am.

The elevator stops at the ground floor and we both get off. I walk through the parking garage and down some stairs. The entire time dude is still behind me. Once I get close to my car he says “I swear I’m not stalking you”!

Sure ok….whatever. He totally thinks he knows what kinda car Mary Alice drives now.

I was telling my mom about all this and she tells me there’s some new show coming out that's called “I Get That A Lot”. It uses actors in public situations and when people ask them if they are that famous person, they say “No, but I get that a lot”.

No wonder the guy thought I was lying. That’s exactly what I said to him!

No more pictures please......I'm not her yo.