At the Skatin' Rank

The girl and I went to the skatin' rank a couple weekends ago.

It's CRAZY how much they've changed since I was a kid! Hell, it's crazy how much they've changed in just the past 10 years.

There was a time that I couldn't wait to get my butt to "rink" on the weekends. They played songs like "Funkytown" and "Push It". There'd always be an ass ton of friends and plenty boys to flirt with. Occasionally there'd be some hooker of a girl makin' out with a boy in a dark corner, but other than that, you just went there to hang out with your friends and skate.

NOW, however, the skatin' rink is something entirely different. They have playgrounds and lasertag and all the kids are wearin' rollerblades. That my friends is just l-a-m-e. I mean really? Inline skates is for freakin' Piedmont Park y'all. There's also too many kids old enough to drive that are there. Dude, when you get your license....you time at the rink has come and gone.

The music they play now is an issue all of it's own. I tend to tune it all out, because it all sucks ass, but at one point I caught myself singin' along......"I kissed a girl and I liked iiittt!"....Oh shit, really?!?! They're playin' that at the skatin' rink on a Saturday afternoon when it's filled with freakin' elementary school kids????

I'm no prude. Oh God...am I??? I know all the kids know that song. It's so catchy you coulda never even have heard the damn thing and it could be stuck in your head....but with lyrics like "no, I don't even know your name, you're just my experimental game....it felt so wrong, it felt so right.....I hope my boyfriend don't mind." I DON'T want that in my girl's head! I don't want her to think that it's ok to be makin' out with people you don't know, I don't want her cheatin' on her boyfriend, I don't want her kissin' a girl to experiment (whatever I don't care...I don't wanna know about it ok?). All that's fine and good for an adult, hell, even a middle school kid....it's life! (you know you were totally makin' out in middle school!)....but that song on a Saturday afternoon???? All the freakin' kids were freaking 3rd graders! DAMMIT.

I started focusing, trying to pay attention to the suck ass music. I realized just how sexually charged a lot of it was. Not all if it was like that, but I remember hearing something that I thought was totally gross and inappropriate for an elementary school kid. Wish I could remember what it was. Luckily my girl focuses more on not lookin' (in her words) "totally retarded" when she skates so she wasn't really hearing the music anyways.

Did I say something about the crap ass inappropriate music? No, but I thought about it. A lot. It actually consumed me for a brief minute, but decided I was in a decent mood that day and didn't wanna embarrass the shit outta the girl. I'd let it be. Maybe next time, I'll skate my big 'ol ass over to the pimply ass, side ways hat wearin', yo-yo talkin' kid that is the dj and just smack him upside the head. UGh...I hate people.

Despite the crap ass music and the throngs of irritatin' kids, we had fun. She had fun. It was a day that I didn't totally embarrass the girl. All was good.

Oops! I Did It Again!

I wrecked my car.....again. Just a fender bender this time. I was in that awesome after work bumper to bumper traffic on the highway. I sneezed....and I sneezed again and again and then a snot rocket flew outta my nose. As I go to wipe the hangin' snot outta my nose....BAM. I hit a car. What really sucked was when I hit the car my snot covered hand slid up and smeared on the lense of my glasses. Awesome. Just fuckin' awesome and to top it all off, I got another ticket. I get home and I'm all pissy and shit. Jeremy says "Why you so pissy?" Uh, HELLO? I just wrecked my stupid fuckin' car! He says, "you're not used to that by now?" Admittedly, I've had a few problems with bumpin' into cars and other things here and there, but dang....it ain't like it's ever my fault. Psht. Like this one time, the girl was in the backseat and needed a kleenex. I turned around to gave one to her. I hit a car. It was dead stopped at a red light. ...

In the Car

Everyday this week, I've had to bring the kids to work with me. Since they're completely terrified of me (psht), they've kept their little kid selves in line. On the way to work this morning, the girl taught the boy how to hand crochet. He was pretty hesitant at first, because "boys don't do that kinda crap"....that's until she told him of her grand plan to make 'em and sell 'em to the people I work with. The second money was involved, he was all in. In less than 10 minutes, he was well on his way to making his first hand crocheted scarf. It's amazing what can get accomplished in the hour and a half it takes to get to work. By the time we arrived, the boy had completed his very first scarf. All I can seem to get accomplished is drinking coffee..... Mmmm.....Starbucks. I totally thought I was over it. I was wrong. So, how is the girl's grand plan goin' you might be wondering. Uh yeah.....she's made $32 so far. As for the boy,...

What an Asshole

Awesome. That's what I am. So awesome that I'm featured on Cooking for Asshole's blog and I didn't have to pay him one penny. Not that he's anything special, but at least he recognizes me for all of my awesomeness....even though he totally talks shit about me and says something about me being Japanese just because I couldn't my panties on right one day...psht....what an asshole. Despite the fact that he's an asshole, he writes one of my favorite blogs . He thinks we're all stupid and suck ass at cookin '. He will berate you and belittle you and cook a pork roast at the same time. Be aware though....he cooks a bunch vegetarian hippie shit......claiming his wife's a vegetarian....I think meat just gives him the shits so he doesn't make a lot of it. If you're one of them beer drinkers, this Asshole thinks he's some sorta beer connoisseur (I say he's just a drunk). He drinks all kinds weird shit. I mean really, why not just sit do...

'Cuz I Felt Like It!

Search This Blog