Since I first had the sneakin' suspicion that I was gonna lose my job, I've stayed pretty positive......well, since I had my weekend of not leavin' the house or the couch anyways. The way I TYPICALLY see it, there's nothin' so bad it couldn't be worse.However....that positive upbeat shit only works for so long when I'm forcin' myself to be that way. My future is uncertain and uncertainty and I ain't on speakin' terms if you know what I mean.
I don't feel like workin' on my fake smile and my "everything will work out in the end" bullshit today. I'm losin' my job and I'm pissed, stressed and hurt....and tired. I'm tired of closed door meetings, I'm tired of gossip and rumors and I'm tired of lookin' at all the job sites 30 times a day to see that nothin' new has been posted 98% of the time and I'm tired of sendin' my resume to jobs that I'm over qualified for and that won't pay my bills. I'm just fuckin' tired.....and this is only the beginning.
I've had two interviews which in itself is a damn miracle. That means out of the approximate 800 resumes said to be received by each and every job posting on careerbuilder.com, I somehow rose to the top.....twice. I didn't get the job for the first interview I went on, and haven't heard back from the second one yet. Fingers are still crossed.
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Since it's St. Patrick's Day, I'll leave you with this little Irish sayin' that I've had written in the back of one of my journals since I was a teenager.
In the end, there are only two things to worry
about.....
Either you are well or you are sick.
When you're well, there is
nothing to worry about.
But if you're sick, then there are two things to
worry about.....
either you get well or you will die.
When you get well,
there is nothing to worry about.
But when you die, then there are two things
to worry about......
either you'll go to heaven or you'll go to hell.
When you go to heaven, there is nothing to worry about.
But when you go to hell,
you'll be so damn busy shaking hands with friends,
you won't have time to worry!
SO WHY WORRY!?
Tomorrow will be a different day. I will plaster on my fake smile which will eventually become a real smile and I will resume my positive attitude, because that's the only way I'm gonna make it. Yep, tomorrow I'll get right back on it. Why not just do it today?.......Fuck you that's why.
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