Thursday, February 26, 2009

Life Has Many, Many Teachers

Everything I have been taught through the years by all the people that've come and gone from my life have made me who I am today but I owe big thanks to everyone for everything they've taught me...the good and the bad.
Thank you, thank you, thank you to.....

Erin for teaching me to get right back on the horse when I fall off.

My brother (step brother actually) David for teaching me what it was like to have a real brother.

Jerm for teaching me, patience, how to bite my tongue and keep my mouth shut and that crying gets you nowhere.

My Mom for teaching me to "kill 'em with kindness" and to suck it up.

My stepdad for teaching me what a dad should be.


My Mamma for teaching me that I deserved to be loved no matter what color my hair was or how many holes I had in my clothes or ears.


My Nana for teaching to kinda crochet.

Daniella for teaching me to round my lips with lipliner instead of makin' them all pointy.

Cosmopolitan magazine for teaching me how to put on makeup....sorta.

My dad for teaching me that lying just ain't worth it...you always get caught in the end.

My sophomore year english lit teacher that taught me how to work my ass off to get what I want.....even if you are the only one that thinks you can do it.

Brandy for teaching me that I'm not a bad mom for wanting to throw my kids in the trash sometimes and that I am totally computer retarded.

A certain teacher that taught me flirting will get you abosolutely EVERYTHING.

Chewy for teaching me that a little bit of crazy is ok.

My boy for teaching me a love I didn't know existed.

My girl for teaching me how to selectively ignore things.

Dr. Slaughter for teaching me that honesty isn't always the best policy.

Guy for teaching me that a girlfriend always comes before a GIRL friend.

Karen for teaching me that home is always home no matter how much you were ready to leave.

The fat girl in a bikini in Panama City for teaching how to do a beer bong. I love you fat bikini girl, I wish were we friends.

Trachelle at the courthouse for teaching me that you don't have to be in a rush no matter how much everyone else around you wants you to be.

Easyrider magazine for teaching me at a very young age the awesomeness of boobs and if you show em' people will love 'em no matter how saggy they are.

A boy named Chomas for teaching me what it's like to kiss a total stranger that you have NOTHING in common with.

Some kid in middle school that taught me how to speak gibberish. That shit was awesome fun.

Erika for trying to teach me to drive a stick shift for the first time.

All the people I know that do drugs for teaching me that I have no desire whatsoever to do drugs.

An ex-boyfriend that taught me if a girl tries to fight a man like a man would, she's gonna get hit back just like a man would.

The two weird girls from my Sophmore year that taught me no matter how weird you are, there's always someone out there that is just as weird.

Gianni for teaching me that just because you call someone your boyfriend, you don't have to be screwing them. Because of him, I can count the number of people I've um...."been with" on one hand.

Jay and Allison for teaching me that true friends will drop anything, even if it's a pitcher of beer that was just brought to the table, to come and help you out when you really need it.

Really, I could probably go on and on with this stuff if I thought about it long enough, but I gotta get back to life here and now!

To all my teachers, I love you all even if you what you taught me sucked. You've made me who I am today and I'm pretty awesome. Thank you.

Friday, February 20, 2009

I Loved Being A Kid...yeah, it's totally random!

Yesterday I got an email about "you know you're a kid of the 80's if......". There were things there I had totally forgotten about. It really took me back to being a kid. I LOVED being a kid. I suppose that's why I'm still and always will be one at heart.


My favorites were those plastic charm necklaces. Oh how I wish I still had mine. A friend and I would walk to the Container Store (much different in the 80's) and spend out $2 allowance on a new charm every week. Oh Lord I loved those things! I must MUST get on ebay and buy myself one, but damn, have you seen how much they go for?

I also had banana clips out the wazoo. I wore one all the time so I could pull my hair back and people could see the lines I had shaved in my hair on the sides of my head. I thought I was so awesome....even then.

Remember when it was worth gettin' up early on a Saturday to watch cartoons? I did that even after all my friends had stopped. I totally loved Galaxy High and the Smurfs.
Oh...and what about multiples? I guess those were towards the end of the 80's for me. I can't say I ever wore any of it but the belt (the red thing in the picture), they made PERFECT skirts.....back when I was skinny. I LIVED in that skirt.

Then there were my Chuck Taylors.....wearing different colors with one another. Coloring and writing all over them and flippin' the tops of them down.

Wishing I could grow up to be as tough as Sam on The Facts of Life, only to later think she was a lesbian (once I found out what that was) and I was pretty sure I didn't want to be one of those.
Mixed tapes. Oh how I loved those. I still have one a boyfriend made me a hundred years ago. It's got love songs on one side and hate on the other. It's all punk so you know, the love side....well....punk was love to me then.
GHETTO BLASTERS! Still love 'em! Hell, the panties I'm wearin' RIGHT NOW got a big 'ol ghetto blaster on the butt.
Friday nights at the skatin' rink. Rockin' the white Ridells. I could do anything on those things. I even broke my ass bone on the wheel of one of my skates! I still have them....still use them if I get drunk enough.

Puffy stickers, glittery stickers, stickers that smelled like grapes. My sticker book was RAD.
Cruizin'. Everybody would cruise the parking lot at the movie's. I remember the smell of cigarettes and hairspray. Motley Crue comin' outta every car.
Not being allowed to watch MTV, because my Mom thought it was too racey. Anytime I could sneak some MTV time I was paralyzed by it. The moon man, the videos, Colin Quin.....man do I miss THAT MTV.
I remember when it was so cool to smoke too. I'd ride my friend's brother's bicycle (of course it had blue mag wheels) through the back parking lot of Osbourne High School and I'd be puffin' on one of those bubblegum cigarettes. I thought I was the shit. I was all "Hey, check me out! I'm in like 2nd grade and smokin'...I'm totally hot shit". Yeah. I told you I've always been awesome!
Bright yellow Walkmen, bicycles with banana seats, Max Headroom, Miami Vice on Friday's, jellies shoes, "Whatchou talkin' 'bout Willis?", dressin' up like Cindy Lauper, A.L.F, jelly bracelets....I could go on and on and on. Is it just me or was everything better then?

Wednesday, February 18, 2009

I Need A Secretary

A full time job, two kids, cooking, cleaning and Big Wheel Bitches.

The job.....got it under control.

The two kids....too much to think about. Homework, teachers blogs, meetings/emails with teachers, doctor's appointments, cuddle time, hang time.....mostly got it under control.

Cooking....ugh. Tired of doing it. Same shit over and over and over. Tried several new recipes, but most of them are more trouble than they're worth. A few good ones though. J is such a good cook. He's more adventurous than I am. He should cook more often (you hear that my boy?)....got it under control, but don't wanna do it every night!

Cleaning....psht. Whatever. Stupid hairy ass cats all sheddin' and cleanin' themselves and pukin' up hair balls and kickin' cat litter everywhere. I would need to vacuum everyday to ALMOST keep up. Then there's cleaning the kitchen after cooking. Um, no. TIRED OF IT. I HATE cleaning grease off the stove. I seriously used to scrub everything all the time....behind things....under things....cabinets...everything. No more. Nope.....I have lost control of cleaning and DON'T care! Ok. so maybe I do care.

Big Wheel Bitches.....holy jesus. It's gotten so much bigger than I ever anticipated! It really is a lot fun and es muy importante that is stays that way. SOS....need help.....Shirts, patches, buttons, stickers, website, myspace, emails....trying very hard to gain and keep control.

I need a Secretary.....really. Anybody lookin' for a job? HA! That's funny. No, it really isn't, I take it back.

Tuesday, February 17, 2009

Jailhouse Choppers Has Moved!

That’s right! Jailhouse Choppers has moved from Savannah to the big city! Ok, so not exactly the big city, but close enough. They’re now located in Snellville which is about 30 minutes northeast of Atlanta.

Jailhouse Choppers has always built some of the coolest bikes around, provided unparalleled sales, service and unbelievable customer service. They aren’t your typical bike shop and they seem to have it all….from cool apparel to custom parts that can’t be found anywhere else.The guys at Jailhouse Choppers say…

“We have begun to see the shift in the world of custom motorcycles away from the high dollar, fat tired, big inch bikes to the raw and sanitary bikes that we build and love. Understanding that our style of motorcycle is not for everyone, Jailhouse Choppers will have many scratching their heads while others with the taste for pure and classic mechanical innovation will be eager to see what's next”.

Go check them out this weekend at their open house and swap meet!
When: Saturday, February 21, 2009
Where: Jailhouse Choppers
3685 Hewatt Court, Suite 1
Snellville, 30039

Jailhouse Choppers welcomes everyone to come check out the new digs. Free refreshments while they last. Tons of swap meet deals! We will be here from noon til everyone is ready to leave.

We'll be there, will you?

Sunday, February 15, 2009

Posse's On Broadway!

Tattoos, Sir-Mix-A-Lot, wine out of a jug, pixie sticks, dancin' at the gay bar, Sharpie markers and good lord so much more......

We all met in E. Atlanta Friday for our girls night out. First on the agenda was to get on the list for our $13 tattoo at 13 Roses. The wait wasn't half as bad as I expected and everyone there was super awesome! Sir-Mix-A-Lot was cranked so we pretty much had a dance party. We all got holy taco tattoos (except one person that's totally lame and shall remain anonymous.....um, melissa) and we had our lips redone.

Tim McGrath, bless his heart had to deal with all of us at once. He's one of the nicest guys ever and had all of us finished up lickey split.
See the cheesy poo???? Dang, I freakin' love tacos.
This is how he got paid. By the time we left, he had all kindsa bills back there.
Once we were all done, we headed back downstairs to the Flat Iron to meet up with the rest of the girls, but stopped in the bathroom first. When Chewy was sittin' on the toilet, she looked up at the wall and said "holy, shit.....I think that's me!". Seriously, I laughed so hard I about peed myself. THAT was amazing. Maybe one day someone will think I'm awesome engough to draw a picture of me.....
We talked to some business and had some drinks....well, lots of drinks.
We went to just about every bar in East Atlanta. I think by far Mary's was the most fun. I mean really, what's not fun about a gay bar? I even ran into a mini Chuck Liddell there. I loved him.....my little mini Chuck.

More drinkin'.......

We got a little carried away with the Sharpies. It's not so funny to draw a moustache on a boy, but a BUTTstache???? Uh yeah.....funny.
I think we're gonna have to do this again sometime real soon.

It's Just Another Day

We're like peanut butter and jelly, ham and grits, biscuits and gravy. We're best friends. We have a relationship unlike most others and I think it's the years that we've had together that makes the difference. We're totally comfortable with each other. We have a way of arguing that I've been told is ridiculous, but it works for us......kinda like two kids trying to settle their differences opposed to two adults.

For the past couple of years, I've seen the flaws in my ways. The things that I do or don't do that don't ever get me the ultimate outcome I want. SO, I've worked hard to change part of my core, part of someone that I have always been, to be more adult about things. I've learned to shut up and not say everything that comes to mind. I've learned to listen to things I have no desire to listen to. I've learned to go with the flow more. I've learned to do things I have no earthly desire to do. There are times that slip, I'm only human (and a pretty irritated one at that!). It's been hard work, but I've done it. You do things like that for the person you intend to spend the rest of your life with.......because you love them.

Right?

It sucks when that's one sided. My Valentine's Day sucked. Can you tell? I, like so many others think Valentine's Day is a nothing more than a contrived day made up by retailers so they could push more Hallmark cards and more flowers, diamonds and chocolates. Lame. As lame as I think it is though, I'm tired of men saying "It's just another day". The men who have women in their lives and say that are just fuckin' lazy and self possessed. I don't ask for shit. I don't need flowers, diamonds or even a card, but seriously..... It's the same thing every year. Nothing.

How hard is it to think of something nice and out of the ordinary to do for the person you love just to really show them you love them. Sure, you can say "I love you" a thousand times a day, and even though you really mean it, it's words that are said more out of habit. It doesn't even need to be done on Valentine's Day....it could be ANY day, but when it's never, and the world is giving you a day to do, just fuckin' do it. How fuckin' hard is it? Quit thinking of just yourself......

I know it's stupid and girly, but really, I don't ask for much. Why can't you ever.......

It's just another day.

Friday, February 13, 2009

Us Bitches Are Goin' Out Tonight!

(Ok, so I've been wanting to use this picture FOREVER, but the story just hasn't produced itself until now. It's sort of a joke between BWB's who have been rumored to be a Mexican gang in Texas.)

Finally, a few of the Big Wheel Bitches are gettin' together....sans our manly counterparts. That's right, BWBs be highrollin' and I of course will start the night with a Starbucks because I'm an addict and totally lame like that.
As if everyone in Atlanta doesn't already know, 13 Roses Tattoo in East Atlanta is having their $13 tattoo on Friday the 13th special. You got a 20? You got a sweet ass tattoo, so we're totally gettin' in line for this tonight!Hopefully the wait won't be too bad. I'm a little too antsy for my own good sometimes and I'll be surrounded by bars that will be tauting me. BECKONING me...."Come here Jessica, we got booze that loves you" (you gotta say that in a ghostly spooky kinda voice).
It will be a little weird bein' out without J, but I guess this is somewhat of his Valentine's gift to me....I go out, he stays home with the kids. That's the way I'm gonna choose to see it, because you can bet your ass I won't be gettin' anything else for V-Day. So yeah, tonight is his gift to me.

Really, I want this for V-Day....What says love like a brass knuckles pick? Really, I WILL have this. Somehow. My list of unrealistic wants just grows. Lord knows I probably can't afford this just as I can't afford any of my much drooled over HK Tokidoki stuff. Again, damn you Hello Kitty.

Talking about Hello Kitty...I had a coupon for a free iced mocha at McD's so I stopped this morning and got myself one (not too bad I suppose, but definitely not Starbucks). While I was there I told them I wanted a Hello Kitty watch since they came in the Happy Meal. The chick just stood there eyeballin' me and shit all suckin' her teeth. I thought maybe she didn't hear me. I repeated myself a little louder. She said "next in line please". I said "ARE YOU FUCKIN' DEAF? I SAID I WANT A HELLO KITTY WATCH!"
Ok, so I didn't say that, but I was totally thinking it. Today's too nice and shiny out and I'm in a pretty good mood so I really just stood there not allowing "next in line" to be next.....I just stared at her until she said "Can I help you?" I told her again I wanted a hello kitty watch.
A few minutes later, I was out in my car. Mocha in one hand, bag with Hello Kitty watch in the other. Could this day get any better?!?!? Yeah, well......
You see the brown one? It's the 6th one over. THAT is the one I got. THAT AIN'T HELLO KITTY and I said I wanted Hello Kitty....NOT freakin' CHOCOCAT! I wanted the first one dangit!!!! But, really, any with Hello Kitty would've been fine.

Oh, well. It's just a cheap ol' watch. No big deal.

I'm totally goin' back until I get the one I want.

Wednesday, February 11, 2009

I'm In Love With A City I Barley Know

I have had what amounts to no more than a one night stand with a city that I have fallen head over heals in love with.

It's a city that never sleeps. There's everything everywhere. People everywhere all the time. Always. Chances are if you bump into someone on the street, they'll threaten to sue you, but if you're lost and need help with directions, ask anybody and they'll oblige.
It's a city with endless photograph opportunities. A city where people don't speak english in some parts and I'm ok with that. A city where I want to know what's goin' on behind all those windows. A city where I wanna live in a highrise and have a telescope so I can watch people doin' it across the way in another highrise. A city where I wanna live in a brownstone so I can sit on the stoop and watch the kids play jump rope in the street.
I wanna be able to go to Chinatown whenever I want so I can buy fresh stinky fish,Bing Cherries for $1 pound, weird lookin' drinks, Asian porn and all the fake purses a girl could want. I wanna go to the Italian grocery fresh prosciotto and mozzarella.
I wanna walk through Central Park when all the leaves and turnin' red and orange and when the snow is just starting to fall.....I wanna walk my kids to PS...whatever everyday on my way to work which I'll get to by hoppin' on the subway. I wanna have a little deli that I stop at all the time where the owner always gives me a hard time because I remind him of his wife of 40 years' sister who he hates.
I want to be in a city where you're nobody and everybody all at the same time.
New York City holds some amazing grasp on me and I barely know it. It turns me into an ooey gooey sentimental baby. It has seduced me and there's nothing I can do about it.

In another lifetime.

Monday, February 9, 2009

$13 Tattoos at 13 Roses in East Atlanta....On Friday the 13th


Friday the 13th is upon us again! The most unluckiest of all days. Mwuahahahahah!!!!

HOWEVER, you can turn it around and make it your LUCKIEST day, because 13 Roses Tattoo Parlour in East Atlanta is having their $13 tattoo special! No, you didn't read wrong....THIRTEEN FREAKIN' DOLLARS (+ a $7 lucky tip). You gotta 20? You gotta tattoo!

The artists in the shop have drawn up 13 different designs to choose from and they all incorporate the number 13. Last year, a friend of mine got a little bat with the number 13 in it and it was pretty flippin' sweet! You wanna know what there is to chose from this year? You gotta get your sweet ass down there and see for yourself!

It's first come first serve. You get put on a list, your not able to choose the artist (ya git who ya git, but they're all pretty awesome!), you pick one of the 13 designs they have and bickety freakin' BAM.....you got yer tattoo!
Seriously you could totally make a day/night outta this! The doors will be open from 11 a.m. to midnight AND 13 Roses is located in East Atlanta surrounded by some of Atlanta's best bars (that many just so happen to open at 11, too)! So, get your ass down there and support the shop and bars!

Friday, February 6, 2009

Gettin' My Ass In Gear....Yo

Most of you know I'm part of a bad ass group of girls called the Big Wheel Bitches. Uh, yeah....100% PURE freakin' awesomeness. Have I ever mentioned that? Yeah, probably.


Last year we had some shirts made and I couldn't tell you how many times I was asked at different events about supporter shirts, so this year I hope to have some. With as many girls as we have, you'd think we'd have an arteest amongst us to design a logo. Nope. HOWEVER, a boy, uhhum, excuse, me....kick ass man we know has said he would help out again for which I am ever so greatful. We have some pretty sweet ass ideas, but gotta settle all the details. It's just so much freakin' work!

The last shirts I had made damn near pushed me over the edge. I mean holy freakin' CRAP. But whatever.....since we're pretty much the only gang that ain't so much a gang, I think the wonkiness of the shirts fit us perfectly, but it's time to move on to bigger and better. Anybody got any recommendations on screenprinters? I don't know that we'll be usin' the same little man again!

We've got some other pretty awesome stuff in the works, but that's all secret for now. You gotta know the knock to get the inside DL yo.

This year's gonna be a good one y'all! I can feel it in my bones. Onward and upward. The bitches got some bake sellin' to do and some funds to raise! Uh, yeah...that's TOTALLY how we roll!

Thursday, February 5, 2009

Rehab or the Lack Thereof

Everytime you turn on the tv, there's another celebrity goin' into rehab. Brittney, Lindsay, Robin Williams and Amy Winehouse are just the first that come to mind. It almost seems like you ain't quite reached celebritydom unless you've been to rehab a few times whether you really needed it or not. Either way, I don't think these people are coming out any better. Maybe for a minute, but then they're right back. I think the key here is that they need to WANT to get better or at least need to know what it is they're supposed to get better from. It's usually their managers, publicists, and directors of the shows they're on that want them to go to rehab to make up for something "bad" they've done so they can right their image in the media. Well, ain't that a bunch of shit?

When I was a teenager, I was shipped off to one of these such places. Not for drugs or alcohol, but for the company I chose to keep and the clothes I chose to wear. I had decent grades (I was passing at least), I didn't lay outta school all the time and I didn't get in too much trouble. HOWEVER, I did cut my hair weird, wear combat boots and ripped fishnets and dark makeup, I argued a lot and I hung out with some pretty "agitated" people. For that, I got sent away.

I hated living at home, but really, what teenager didn't? At every corner I would turn, I was told I wasn't good enough. It sucked, and I got tired of it. The way I saw it, there was nothing wrong with pink hair, going to shows, listening to punk rock music and having the friends I did. Ok, so I get the worry over the whole friends thing. It wasn't a crowd parents would ever want their kids to hang out with, but it wasn't as bad as it looked from the outside.

When my Dad pulled up to the place all the fucked up kids go to, I was so confused. My Dad was doing this to me. MY DAD!?!? My insides were crushed. I could see my Mom and Stepdad doing this to me, seeing as how they had done it to one of my brothers and tried to do it to the other but he left home before the got the chance. But here was my DAD doing this to me! Turns it, it was my mom after all. She'd convinced my dad that this is what I needed. I went in confused as all get out. I felt betrayed.

This was supposed to be a rehab center of sorts I suppose. "Rehab for what?" is what I was thinking. Let me tell you, that place was fucked up. There were kids that were addicted to drugs I'd never heard of, kids that had tried to kill themselves and nearly succeeded, kids that were sexually abused, kids that liked to sexually abuse...things, kids that didn't eat like EVER and kid's that were given the choice between jail and this place. I'd never known this level of dysfunction in my entire life and a lot of these kids had been there several times. Ok, so isn't the point of a "rehab" to get better and not come back? I think so, but I could only assume really. What exactly was I supposed to recover from?

While I was in this place for derelicts, I was fired by my shrink who said he could do nothing for me only to be assigned another shrink who told me (after speaking with me for ten minutes) that if I tell him what he needed to hear, all the things I knew my parents would want to hear from a model child, he would have me out in two weeks max. He lived up to his word.

I learned things I would've never imagined while I was there. I learned that you could empty the water in your toilet and talk to people through the pipes. I learned you could sneak in cigarettes by pulling the felt thing out of markers and replacing them with cigarettes when you had a day pass. I learned to dry and straighten my hair by the furnace on the wall. I learned the quiet room wasn't so quite when you could hear yourself breathing. I learned that if you got too out of line, they'd strap your ass down on a table at your ankles and wrists and give you a shot to make you stop. I learned to be a certain way to keep myself from gettin' beat up. I learned to get in someone's face and yell so they'd think I was crazy enough to beat them up and I eventually learned that violence solves a lot. That placed changed who I was at my core. Even though I was able to leave just about everything shitty there and never look back, there is a part of me that I wish I hadn't left there. I'm not sure what was meant to be accomplished was ever accomplished, because I'm not sure of what was supposed to be accomplished in the first place.

Whatever.

Rehab is just the "in" thing to do right now. Soon, all those $2,000 a day places will go broke and outta business just like everyone else is these days.

Tuesday, February 3, 2009

I Got A Bad Case of Spring Fever....

....and as it turns out, Punxsutawney Phil saw his shadow. SIX MORE FREAKIN' WEEKS OF WINTER. Psht. Winter, schminter. We don't get winter here anymore. If it would actually get cold here and actually SNOW here, I would be all for six more weeks of winter. However, no matter what the stupid weatherman says, winter weather continues to elude us.

Winter so far has just been kinda chilly and just dries the hell out of my skin. There's nothin' like layin' in bed and all of a sudden gettin' that pin prick itch feeling of dry skin on your back just outta reach AND the awesomeness of a dry face that just wants to peel and look all nasty. I hate you Georgia winters....you do NOTHING for me.

I remember when I was a kid, we had snow days every year. Remember those? We'd put on long johns and two pair of pants, 3 shirts, wrap our feet in ziplock bags and put on 3 pairs of socks and head outside where we'd stay until the snot had frozen to our faces and our gloves were soaked through. Frostbite would be minutes away before we'd step foot back in the house. Man I loved snow days.

My kids have no idea what snow days are. They have nothing to miss, because they've never actually gotten a snow day that they can remember. Last year, we got one day of decent snow. Not awesome, just decent, and it was on a Saturday. By Sunday, it was gone. Several years ago, we'd actually take the boy up into the Tennessee mountains just so he could see snow......we can't even do that now. Even the mountains aren't gettin' snow now.

After the awesome almost 60 degree day we had this past weekend, I'm SO ready for Spring. I had a slight case of spring cleaning which my house needed terribly. Then the longing to drive Bess set in. Good music blarin' with the windows down.

Poor Bess has just been sittin' in the garage all sad and stuff. I'd drive her more often, but not so long ago one of the "a/c" vent doors (little vents under the dash that let fresh air in) fell off blasting in bits of rust, leaves and other shit that had been compiling in that little area for the past forty-five years. All the gunk has been blasted out, but now when you're drivin' down the road the cool winter air is dang near freezin' comin' in on your knees. No bueno my friends, no bueno. Oh how I miss driving her.

Everyone always makes plans to work on their cars during the winter months. Not us. You gotta have money to do that. Money that I'd rather be puttin' somewhere else right now. Although, I have been constantly on the look out for a working merc-o-matic transmission or a 5 bolt bellhousing for for a c-4 trans. My transmission has hit this shits and I'd rather not have to deal with having it rebuilt. It's still tolerable, but dang.....SO, if you read this and you know where I can find either at a DECENT (I heavily stress DECENT) price, let me know. I've come across the bellhousing I need a couple times in the past few months, but the people want WAY too much money for them. I mean like an ASS TON for them. I know they're hard to find yo, but shit....cut a girl a deal. It pisses me off that people are always lookin' to make an ass ton of money off that one part you need instead of just being awesome about it and sharing a common passion for old cars. It totally pisses me off. Whenever we've had somethin' that someone else has needed, we either given it to them or practically given it to them. Whatever. Some people are just shit.

Now that that rant is done and over with......C'Mon Spring!

Damn You Hello Kitty, Damn You

Maybe my mom weened me too soon, maybe I wasn't allowed to be exactly who I wanted to be when I was a teenager, maybe I'm just totally immature and need to grow the hell up. I dunno. I just can't seem to stop obsessing over Hello Kitty.....and it's all Tokidoki's fault.

I'm not like all those people that buy absolutely everything Hello Kitty they get their hands on....no, not me. I'm more selective. I want to cherish the bits of Hello Kitty awesomeness that I have. I want Hello Kitty things that no one else has.
This just seems to be a long ongoing thing for me. When I was like 10 or 11, I would go to the Hello Kitty store at the mall and spend WAY too much time tyring to figure out how I could stretch my allowance the best and come away with the most.

When I was teenager, I didn't carry a purse. I carried this little itty bitty Hello Kitty metal box that held a pack of cigarettes, a small bic lighter and my driver's license. I also kept all my cassette tapes in this little plastic Hello Kitty box....actually it was Badtz Maru. I still have this stuff too. I can't let go. I know I've talked about this issue of mine like a kabillion times before, but I just checked out the Tokidoki site again and there's more awesomeness there that I want so freakin' bad. Man, I wish I was rich, because this stuff is danged EXPENSIVE!
I want it. All of it. AND I totally can't afford it. I'll blame it on my kids. It's their fault that I can't have everything Tokidoki that I want. ALL their fault. Well, ok, so maybe not. I'm just a sucker and think my kids should have everything they want before I get what I want. I figure if they have all that they want now, they won't have this same issue I currently have. They'll get all their child like obsessions out of their systems before they become adults.
Admitting there is a problem is half the battle. Now, I gotta go see what I can sell so I can buy some tokidoki awesomeness. Just gimme time....you'll see.

Sunday, February 1, 2009

Weird Ass People

Some people think I'm weird. People that don't know me. They see me with my big red frizzy afro hair, lots of tattoos and my constant singin' of Christmas carols. Nope, not weird. I'm about as average as average can get. I take kids to school, I work, I cook dinner and I clean. I'm awesome, but not weird.


I've seen some weird people in my life. People that make me stop, scrunch up my nose and go "what the fuck? really?". I LOVE these people. There just aren't enough weird people in this world.
When I was a teenager there was this boy that had his eyebrows shaved and had "Born to" tattooed where one eyebrow should be and "Revolt" on the other. He liked to do cartwheels....A LOT... and he always said vivivivivideo. Totally weird.
Before I was married, I lived in these apartments that were kinda ghetto. Ok, so they weren't kinda ghetto, they were total ghetto. The surrounding area was little Mexico and our apartments were full of Vietnamese people that were always squatin' on their stoops. They didn't sit or stand, they squated. Maybe it's just what they did, but to me, it was freakin' weird. Those apartments were AWESOME and chock full of weird ass people. There was this one lady that always came up to the front office. You couldn't understand a single word she said. Not a one, and she spoke english. She also had the most scraggly beard I'd ever seen. She was fantastic. I loved seein' her. Then there was a lady that rode up and down the road all the time in her wheel chair. Back and forth all day. She had no legs and some dude was always with her he was all barrel chested and always wore sunglasses and a dew rag on his head. He looked so freakin' tuff and a little weird.

When we lived in Dallas (this is country ass bumpkin Dallas I'm talkin' about, not the city in Texas) there was this weird black woman that walked the streets. She was always well dressed and clean lookin', but weirder than marshmallows in a microwave. Some days she'd stand on the side of the road and beat her tambourine singin' about Jesus, another day she yell what a dirty white slut mother fuckin' ho bag you were. She was ALWAYS on the street. The word was that her and her sister were walkin' to work one day and her sister crossed the street when she shouldn't have got ran over and died. I guess if I saw something like that, I might be a little wonky in the head too.

Then there was this weird white dude that walked the streets of Dallas....no, he danced the streets of Dallas in shawty shawt cut off jeans. That was some fine sweet ass white man dancin' too. He made me so happy. Dear dancin' man, I miss you so much.

Even though we moved from Dallas a couple years ago, we still got a weird black woman that hangs out on the street. It doesn't appear that she brushes her hair and she just sits there on the side on the road on a milk crate. Yep, that's it.....just sits there. Weird.
I love weird ass people.

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