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Showing posts from April, 2009

Bikes, Flowers and a Funeral all at Once

Here it is. J on his new motorbike. It's a Sportster. Sportsters are for girls. That's why I have a secret agenda. No, really, he loves it and that's really all that matters. He's happy, I'm happy. While I was takin' pictures of J headin' out on his first ride on the bike, I decided to take a few shots of some of the flowers we've got growing in our yard. Ain't they purdy? Thanks to them spreading their yellow love juice everywhere, I still can't breathe outta my nose and will have to once again kick my habit of nosespray. These little purple one's are awesome too. I wish I could afford a better lens so I could get better close up shots. If I could just quit drinking for a minute, I could probably afford one! On a totally different note, I gotta go to my Grandfather's funeral today. He died Sunday. It's now Wednesday and I just found out. Kinda sucks that no one in my family saw a need to call and tell me. Everyday I drive past where

Nah, Nah, Nah, Nah...Hey, Hey, Hey...GOODBYE!

FINALLY! J sold his truck. That big ol ' heap of flat black jun.....err.....awesomeness. Yeah, awesomeness, that's what I meant. Oh the pleasure of pulling up in the driveway and not seeing that truck just sitting there. Sitting there and and wasting space. Breathing car air that another awesome car/bike could be breathing from the comfyness of our driveway. It's no secret that I didn't like that truck. First, I hate long bed trucks. They look retarded. Second, I hated the moon hubcaps. I know I'm totally in the minority with this, but I think those things are hideous. I think they can make a fantastic lookin ' car look like pure poo. Whatever. Besides that, it didn't run. Wouldn't run. J had lost interest after one failed attempt after another the get the motor problems ironed out. Man, I'm so glad to see it go. It was funny, after J sold it, we went out to eat and while we were sitting there he kinda jump upped a little and said "OW!" I

I Wish I Could Make Cry Baby Sounds Here

I'm sick. Again. Dammit. This pollen is gonna force me to move to Alaska. I wanna beat up pollen. Maybe get a restraining order against it or somethin '. Now is SO not the time to be sick. I guess better now than in a couple weeks. Really though, no time between now and the 16 th is a good time to be sick. It's time to start really focusing on all the little details of our Bitches Bash . It consumes me. Stacy (my hijacked shoes friend) and I are both eating, sleeping and breathing this show. Hopefully after we all meet this weekend we'll be able to get a little help from the other girls. Even then though, will I relax a bit? No, probably not. I'm such a control freak. I've been let down by most of the important people in my life in one way or another so it's hard to depend on all the people you think you should be able to. If you want something done, the best way to make sure it's done and done right is to do it yourself. Right? But then again, a girl s

My Thought Process

Islands in the stream. That is what we are. No one in-between, how could we be wrong? Sail away with me. To another world and we rely on each other, uh-huh..... Makin ' love with each other......uh-huh.... That song is TOTALLY stuck in my head! Today is Secretary's Day, or for you women's lib ladies, Administrative Assistants Day or for you hell fire women's rights ladies, Administrative Professionals Day. Whatever you call it, I hope you had a good one if you work in an office. For years, I have in a roundabout way reminded my Boss of the day and a week or so later, the office would cater lunch in. Always delicious too, of course! This year bossman had it all planned out like two weeks in advance. All on his own! We were all treated to lunch at On the Border and since I feel like total ass, I didn't drink. Dammit. I've NEVER turned down free liquor. Oh well, it was nice anyhow. Like I said before, I feel like total ass. Like shouldn't be at work total as

Hijacked Shoes

Some of you may remember my post about the slut shoes I couldn't live without. The slut shoes I had to have. The slut shoes that were never get the love and adoration from the people because I just haven't worn them enough. Despite what I wrote before, I have yet to clean house in my slut shoes. I've worn them to the office a few times (slightly inappropriate I know), but they've never been worn "out". I know what happens when I go out. I drink and I tend to.....stumble....a little. (Random picture from Saturday night!) While gettin' dressed to go out Saturday night, I decided to put on my awesome slut shoes just to see exactly how much of a weeble wobble I looked like in them. I sauntered my ass in to the bathroom where J was brushing his hair and I posed. He said "damn, your ass looks good! Wearin' your butt panties aren't you?" Well, no, I wasn't wearin' my butt panties, my ass has just gotten that big thank you very much.....

Thank You Easta Bunny! Bock! Bock!

You remember that commercial? The one with the little girl that says "Thank you Easta Bunny! Bock! Bock!" I love that commercial! I love Easter. All the pretty colors of eggs, the baskets the Easter bunny leaves for the kids, the Easter egg hunt.....who am I kiddin '? I just want the food! We of course had all the traditional food you're supposed to have ion Easter....ham (which J said tasted weird so I just couldn't eat it....he totally syked me out!), green bean casserole, potato salad, homemade mac and cheese ( courtesy of J's mom) creamed spinach, black eyed peas and the most delicious rolls ever for me to make my little green bean casserole and potato salad sandwiches! The kids were dyin ' to do the Easter Egg Hunt. This year we put 10 one dollar bills in some of the eggs. Amazingly enough each kid got five money eggs each! AMAZING! No fights over who got more money. Some may say the boy is too old for Easter egg huntin '. Psshtt .

At the Skatin' Rank

The girl and I went to the skatin ' rank a couple weekends ago. It's CRAZY how much they've changed since I was a kid! Hell, it's crazy how much they've changed in just the past 10 years. There was a time that I couldn't wait to get my butt to "rink" on the weekends. They played songs like " Funkytown " and "Push It". There'd always be an ass ton of friends and plenty boys to flirt with. Occasionally there'd be some hooker of a girl makin ' out with a boy in a dark corner, but other than that, you just went there to hang out with your friends and skate. NOW, however, the skatin ' rink is something entirely different. They have playgrounds and lasertag and all the kids are wearin ' rollerblades . That my friends is just l-a-m-e. I mean really? Inline skates is for freakin ' Piedmont Park y'all. There's also too many kids old enough to drive that are there. Dude, when you get your license....y

Where’s the resemblance?

I’m walking through the grocery store before work one morning and this girl working there asks me if she can ask me a question. Because I was in a hurry, I wanted to tell her she just did and keep walking, but didn’t feel like being a total douche bag so I stopped and said “sure”. The girl puts one hand on her hip and starts shaking her other hand at me, finger all a pointin’ and stuff and says “You’re that girl on that show aren’t you?” As I know that I am no girl on any show, I just said “Nope. Sorry, I ain’t her”. I knew exactly who she was talking about though, because I’d been asked something similar a handful of times before. I keep walking through the store getting what I needed, headed to check out and left the store headed for my car. Once I get to my car, I realize my keys are in my purse which is locked in my car! Dammit. I head back for the store and had to ask the same girl from before if I could use the phone. She obliged and sat there staring at me the entire time. She t